Here're some pics taken awhile back. He's a lot rounder and bigger now. His next checkup is this Thursday - anyone wanna hedge some bets on his weight?!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Some pics
Here're some pics taken awhile back. He's a lot rounder and bigger now. His next checkup is this Thursday - anyone wanna hedge some bets on his weight?!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Until Now
Until I became a mum, I don’t think I fully understood the enormity of it all. To have someone, so little, completely entrusted into your care, completely dependent and needy of you, is…challenging to say the least. Painful, to be exact.
I thought my natural instincts would kick in – I was so looking forward to this! Oh the arrogance of the ignorant – to think EG and I nodded to ourselves when our friends complained of their little one, and said, “we’ll never speak of our child and his infancy with such despair or complaint – we must always speak with hope and faith.” Such lofty ideals! I tumble in and out of despair each day, with each feed, each cry. Joy if he sleeps past the hour, exuberance if he naps for two! The malaise of self-doubt sets in with every whimper and piercing yell he makes – what did I do wrong? What’s happening with him? Why won’t he stop? And exhaustion kicks in, and I spiral, and cry as he cries, my tears dropping quicker than his rhythmic screams.
What a tumultuous nine weeks it has been. Feeds and sleeps (or lack there of), cries and sushes, routines and diversions. We had quickly relinquished our need to withhold the pacifier from him – oh the joy of discovering the baby Mute button! I wonder, daily, guiltily, if my complaints are merely because he is not a convenient baby, because he doesn’t quite go by the book.
Every time he smiles, the type that reaches his eyes and crinkles his entire face, every time he gurgles and sticks his little tongue out in a game of mimicry with him (I copy him), I melt. I melt and wonder if I’m doing right by him. I hope I’m doing right by him. I hope I’m up to the task to educate and raise a child, this child, with reading and playtime and paying wholehearted attention. I wish I weren’t so shallow to look at my expanded body and wish it weren’t. I wish I could stop feeling so tired and regretful of giving birth. I wish I hadn’t set such high expectations of myself, still having them, still letting them kick me in the head.
His quiet cry
His quiet song
His rest
His peace
His light
And bliss
Bearable
Incomprehensible
Reflecting images of despair
Yet mournful with joy
Touched with new life
My life
My love
aidan
I thought my natural instincts would kick in – I was so looking forward to this! Oh the arrogance of the ignorant – to think EG and I nodded to ourselves when our friends complained of their little one, and said, “we’ll never speak of our child and his infancy with such despair or complaint – we must always speak with hope and faith.” Such lofty ideals! I tumble in and out of despair each day, with each feed, each cry. Joy if he sleeps past the hour, exuberance if he naps for two! The malaise of self-doubt sets in with every whimper and piercing yell he makes – what did I do wrong? What’s happening with him? Why won’t he stop? And exhaustion kicks in, and I spiral, and cry as he cries, my tears dropping quicker than his rhythmic screams.
What a tumultuous nine weeks it has been. Feeds and sleeps (or lack there of), cries and sushes, routines and diversions. We had quickly relinquished our need to withhold the pacifier from him – oh the joy of discovering the baby Mute button! I wonder, daily, guiltily, if my complaints are merely because he is not a convenient baby, because he doesn’t quite go by the book.
Every time he smiles, the type that reaches his eyes and crinkles his entire face, every time he gurgles and sticks his little tongue out in a game of mimicry with him (I copy him), I melt. I melt and wonder if I’m doing right by him. I hope I’m doing right by him. I hope I’m up to the task to educate and raise a child, this child, with reading and playtime and paying wholehearted attention. I wish I weren’t so shallow to look at my expanded body and wish it weren’t. I wish I could stop feeling so tired and regretful of giving birth. I wish I hadn’t set such high expectations of myself, still having them, still letting them kick me in the head.
His quiet cry
His quiet song
His rest
His peace
His light
And bliss
Bearable
Incomprehensible
Reflecting images of despair
Yet mournful with joy
Touched with new life
My life
My love
aidan
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Health Check
Well the local maternal and child health nurse just popped by for a visit, and offered me lots of info and help. It's one of the best things about the Australian welfare system - so much is offered for free (ok, paid for by taxpayers), but I really do appreciate all these resources. Mightn't get them back in SG.
Aidan weighed in at 3.160 kg at 1.30pm EST - that, the nurse said, was 3 times what they hoped for him to gain in the last week! And he poos and farts a lot too. Sir Chubalot is taking after his parents very well...
More updates soon - going to read the stuff she gave me (am feeling a little lazy at committing more ponderous thoughts to the blog, heh). I feel like my head's saturated with all this baby info! But she did show me a couple of tricks with breast feeding though, that really helped!
Aidan weighed in at 3.160 kg at 1.30pm EST - that, the nurse said, was 3 times what they hoped for him to gain in the last week! And he poos and farts a lot too. Sir Chubalot is taking after his parents very well...
More updates soon - going to read the stuff she gave me (am feeling a little lazy at committing more ponderous thoughts to the blog, heh). I feel like my head's saturated with all this baby info! But she did show me a couple of tricks with breast feeding though, that really helped!
In the Quiet
Well, it's hard to put to words what it feels like to be new mum, so I'll try, in bullet points.
1. Eurghhharaarrghhhh!!
2. What the...?!
3. HALP!
That should pretty much summarise it.
(And if you're waiting for the "but, seriously" part, please scroll back to Point 1.)
1. Eurghhharaarrghhhh!!
2. What the...?!
3. HALP!
That should pretty much summarise it.
(And if you're waiting for the "but, seriously" part, please scroll back to Point 1.)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
FINALLY!!!
OK!
Short version, since I'm typing the gist of this entry (read: harrowing ordeal) while the baby's asleep.
Labour was long - 24 hours from the first minor contraction, to the final birth (felt small cramps at about 10.15/10.30pm on Sunday night).
Babe was born 1045pm, Monday, 10 September 2007. He was 2.880 kg (which is about 6.3 lbs for the old-skool folks)
Pics will be up asap!
Love you all heaps - thanks for the support throughout the last 9 months!
Short version, since I'm typing the gist of this entry (read: harrowing ordeal) while the baby's asleep.
Labour was long - 24 hours from the first minor contraction, to the final birth (felt small cramps at about 10.15/10.30pm on Sunday night).
Babe was born 1045pm, Monday, 10 September 2007. He was 2.880 kg (which is about 6.3 lbs for the old-skool folks)
Pics will be up asap!
Love you all heaps - thanks for the support throughout the last 9 months!
Friday, September 7, 2007
D-Day
SO!
Today's the day when Aidan arrives.
Supposedly.
Sigh - it seems the little bubba's too content to be inside me, so he's holding out. I'm feeling tired and big, and the pregnancy rhinitis has returned. Hallelujah!...
Well - maybe he'll decide tomorrow's the day! Apparently if you're born on 8th September, which is International Literacy Day, you get a book for your next 5 birthdays. (I tried googling it, I'm not sure if it's true...)
Ah wells, in the meantime, it's been fun with mum around - lotsa great food! :-)
Today's the day when Aidan arrives.
Supposedly.
Sigh - it seems the little bubba's too content to be inside me, so he's holding out. I'm feeling tired and big, and the pregnancy rhinitis has returned. Hallelujah!...
Well - maybe he'll decide tomorrow's the day! Apparently if you're born on 8th September, which is International Literacy Day, you get a book for your next 5 birthdays. (I tried googling it, I'm not sure if it's true...)
Ah wells, in the meantime, it's been fun with mum around - lotsa great food! :-)
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Paintings
Canvases we painted last week. My fav's the one on the extreme left, all vibrant colours - unfortunately it was C that painted it, so I can't claim credit ;-) I did the other 2.
These are the 2 mini-canvases I painted on Monday.
These are the 2 mini-canvases I painted on Monday.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
T-minus 3 days
Hmm!
EG once mentioned I'm like a ticking time-bomb - I'm literally waiting to explode. Sorta.
It's 39 1/2 weeks, Friday marks D-day. I've actually taken new pics of how Heffalump-ish (husband's words, not mine) I look now, and the last month of binge-eating Nutella bread and potatoes (fries, chips, roasted) has sadly left me with a bloated mien. And a double-chin.
But all is well and good. Mum's arriving on Thursday early-morning (4! am!) which heralds the arrival of much nuttiness (she's me on ditzy steroids!) and good food. Finally! Someone in the house who can cook properly!
Gearing up to this Friday, I've found myself painting a little - completed 3 canvases with C last week, and 2 mini ones yesterday after much distress. It seems that inspiration seldom strikes when you most want it to. But I still managed to churn out 2 impressions of flowers - an ageing tulip, and a plastic calla lily.
Okies! Pictures will be up soon I promise. Once I can transfer it from my camera to the comp - my card-reader's busted and won't recognise any of the files. SIGH! In the meantime, grateful thanks to the Chews for their seasons of West Wing, so I feel my brain has some sort of stimulation. And my Sis for her choice weblinks...
EG once mentioned I'm like a ticking time-bomb - I'm literally waiting to explode. Sorta.
It's 39 1/2 weeks, Friday marks D-day. I've actually taken new pics of how Heffalump-ish (husband's words, not mine) I look now, and the last month of binge-eating Nutella bread and potatoes (fries, chips, roasted) has sadly left me with a bloated mien. And a double-chin.
But all is well and good. Mum's arriving on Thursday early-morning (4! am!) which heralds the arrival of much nuttiness (she's me on ditzy steroids!) and good food. Finally! Someone in the house who can cook properly!
Gearing up to this Friday, I've found myself painting a little - completed 3 canvases with C last week, and 2 mini ones yesterday after much distress. It seems that inspiration seldom strikes when you most want it to. But I still managed to churn out 2 impressions of flowers - an ageing tulip, and a plastic calla lily.
Okies! Pictures will be up soon I promise. Once I can transfer it from my camera to the comp - my card-reader's busted and won't recognise any of the files. SIGH! In the meantime, grateful thanks to the Chews for their seasons of West Wing, so I feel my brain has some sort of stimulation. And my Sis for her choice weblinks...
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Ooh forgot to mention...
I bought these last Friday, and got them delivered on Monday.
Aren't they adorable?
Another manic Thursday...not...
It's almost 39 weeks, and I'm beginning to feel my mind's atrophying from the lack of stimulation at home.
There's only so much email you can check, and only so much you can google before you get bored (last google item: "Fiat Pinto", to prove that it exists, since only the Fiat Punto is available here, which is what my neighbour drives). Have also just processed another shipment of Threadless tees, watched Van Wilder: Party Liaison over lunch, and read the first couple of chapters of Mao's Last Dancer. Other than the latter, the other activities are eliciting gag reflexes in my head right now. GAGH....
On the upside, C is popping by in a short while and we're gonna paint some canvases for the nursery!
I need some proper antidote to all the crap that's been filling my mind today. At least yesterday I had a decent lunch with Aunty K (in the outside world!), and spent the arvo at Borders.
There's only so much email you can check, and only so much you can google before you get bored (last google item: "Fiat Pinto", to prove that it exists, since only the Fiat Punto is available here, which is what my neighbour drives). Have also just processed another shipment of Threadless tees, watched Van Wilder: Party Liaison over lunch, and read the first couple of chapters of Mao's Last Dancer. Other than the latter, the other activities are eliciting gag reflexes in my head right now. GAGH....
On the upside, C is popping by in a short while and we're gonna paint some canvases for the nursery!
I need some proper antidote to all the crap that's been filling my mind today. At least yesterday I had a decent lunch with Aunty K (in the outside world!), and spent the arvo at Borders.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Letter to Aidan
It's 1 in the morning, and I'm having trouble sleeping. No - it's not your fault (tho' you are shifting around quite a bit inside me, and forcing multiple trips to the loo), but I took a nap in the arvo, and am feeling rather awake after a day spent puttering around the house awaiting your arrival.
It was the 4th day of maternity leave, and now the beginning of the 5th. Today will be exciting - officially 38 weeks, and going in for our next checkup. Perhaps the midwife will tell me your head's engaged (which could explain the pressure on the pelvic/pubic bone), and you'll be arriving anytime soon. I hope my blood test results show that my iron levels have passed muster, so I can eliminate another pill from my daily routine.
Mostly, I've been rather excited anticipating your arrival. What you'll look like. How to nurse you. How to bathe you. And spending money on what you'll wear! The sheets are washed and waiting to be ironed, some of your tiny baby clothes are already pressed and packed in the drawer, the next batch awaiting the same attention. I just purchased a 3-pc ensemble on sale at Baby's Got Style (green! cute! aliens!), and it should be arriving on Monday. Gagh...
You're really going to throw my life into a tizzy! I can't wait - well, half anxiously half excitedly though. I'm not thoroughly sure I'll know what to do when you're here. What if you just plain like screaming your head off? What if you don't like to scream at all? Will I get tired being around you? Will I ever get back into shape? Will I throttle your grandma with my bare hands when she stays with us for your first month and interferes annoyingly? (And if so, should I bury her in the backyard or out front?) Questions, questions, QUESTIONS!
I pray that as you grow, you'll learn the best from me and your dad (and leave the worst behind). I hope we know to steward you well - to teach you what we know (to the best of our knowledge!) To teach you to love and fear your Creator, who's knitted you together in my womb, who's formed your innermost being. That you'll learn to treat others with respect and decency, and exude the confidence from knowing you, yourself, are respected and decent. May you be bold, adventurous, curious, and kind. May you be warm and patient with those who can't be, may you extend love to those who are often un-lovely. And may you, eventually, become a Man, who will teach his own son these things.
Soh let it be.
It was the 4th day of maternity leave, and now the beginning of the 5th. Today will be exciting - officially 38 weeks, and going in for our next checkup. Perhaps the midwife will tell me your head's engaged (which could explain the pressure on the pelvic/pubic bone), and you'll be arriving anytime soon. I hope my blood test results show that my iron levels have passed muster, so I can eliminate another pill from my daily routine.
Mostly, I've been rather excited anticipating your arrival. What you'll look like. How to nurse you. How to bathe you. And spending money on what you'll wear! The sheets are washed and waiting to be ironed, some of your tiny baby clothes are already pressed and packed in the drawer, the next batch awaiting the same attention. I just purchased a 3-pc ensemble on sale at Baby's Got Style (green! cute! aliens!), and it should be arriving on Monday. Gagh...
You're really going to throw my life into a tizzy! I can't wait - well, half anxiously half excitedly though. I'm not thoroughly sure I'll know what to do when you're here. What if you just plain like screaming your head off? What if you don't like to scream at all? Will I get tired being around you? Will I ever get back into shape? Will I throttle your grandma with my bare hands when she stays with us for your first month and interferes annoyingly? (And if so, should I bury her in the backyard or out front?) Questions, questions, QUESTIONS!
I pray that as you grow, you'll learn the best from me and your dad (and leave the worst behind). I hope we know to steward you well - to teach you what we know (to the best of our knowledge!) To teach you to love and fear your Creator, who's knitted you together in my womb, who's formed your innermost being. That you'll learn to treat others with respect and decency, and exude the confidence from knowing you, yourself, are respected and decent. May you be bold, adventurous, curious, and kind. May you be warm and patient with those who can't be, may you extend love to those who are often un-lovely. And may you, eventually, become a Man, who will teach his own son these things.
Soh let it be.
Monday, August 20, 2007
At the cusp
All right...37 weeks and counting, and today's the first day of maternity leave. Woohoo!
I have grand plans for today: pack my hospital bag, the nursery, maybe do a little baby reading, my SOAP devotions, and prepare for the core team meeting later, when the girls come over for dinner to talk about Thursday's house church gathering.
So far, and I've been awake for 4 hours, I've accomplished....NONE of the above. Except maybe decide what to cook tonight.
Yes! I woke up at 8.30am, had brekkie, watched Sunrise and the Morning Show on Channel 7 (which introduced the Raising Children website & DVD, a comprehensive initiative from the Australian govt.), felt a bit sleepy from my full breakfast, headed upstairs and curled up in bed again from 11am-noon. Hey - I'm finally on leave, I get to sleep in if I wanna ok?! ;-)
But I'd better get up and about. No sense in wasting the sunny day!
Hehe.
I have grand plans for today: pack my hospital bag, the nursery, maybe do a little baby reading, my SOAP devotions, and prepare for the core team meeting later, when the girls come over for dinner to talk about Thursday's house church gathering.
So far, and I've been awake for 4 hours, I've accomplished....NONE of the above. Except maybe decide what to cook tonight.
Yes! I woke up at 8.30am, had brekkie, watched Sunrise and the Morning Show on Channel 7 (which introduced the Raising Children website & DVD, a comprehensive initiative from the Australian govt.), felt a bit sleepy from my full breakfast, headed upstairs and curled up in bed again from 11am-noon. Hey - I'm finally on leave, I get to sleep in if I wanna ok?! ;-)
But I'd better get up and about. No sense in wasting the sunny day!
Hehe.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
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