Patty cake patty cake

The last month, and week in particular has been a flurry of baking!

Just this past week alone, I made:

Fondant cars
Fondant holly...and each berry on the holly I might add!
CHOCOLATES! (of which I'm still slowly savouring*)
Cupcakes
More cupcakes
A huge 1st birthday cake for Zachariah

* haha that's a bad pun 'coz I made them at Savour Patisserie

But no rest for the weary...more baking coming up: Iced gingerbread Christmas ornaments to give away! And maybe some banana bread loaves for the neighbours...

Another year into the new decade

Soh!

I have officially pluralised my entry into my new decade. It's the thirtiesss now. Sigh!

But so much joy and accomplishment!

Thanks family. Love you all heaps.

 

PS. Aidan's birthday gift to me: First-time obedience. I say it, you DO IT NOW! ;p

Sweet nothings

I'm more and more in love with Aidan each day.

It's taken me 3 years, but I think I've finally come to a point where I really do really LOVE being a mum.

First I was afraid. Then I resented it. Then I became angry, and regretful for what I felt I was missing out - a career, accolades, being productive.

At the beginning of this year, I made peace with it. I told God, I'm ok with waiting...

At the end of this year, I'm actually happy.

There are frustrating days of course. Many many ones, like last Wednesday when he decided poo is a great substitute for crayons and proceeded to decorate my walls.

But there are also days that make me laugh and cherish him all the more... like when he decided poo is a great substitute for crayons and proceeded to decorate my walls.

Now, as I stumble into bed after a long day, all I really want is to curl up in a ball next to him, and hug him til we both fall asleep to the sound of his soft breathing.




NB: Just as I typed the last paragraph, my door softly creaked open and Aidan peeked in! It's 10.45pm!!
"I'm not sleepy mum.
"What are you doing here bubs?"
He climbed into bed next to me, lay down on my chest and said, "But I want to sleep with you mum."
Bliss!!

Tell me what you think

I've been seriously getting stuck into all 4 seasons of Mad Men, and the beauty they present. Fabulous clothes, fabulous life.


Just read this article this morning.

It is her boredom and resentment that makes her appear cold, the adjective used for Betty perhaps more than any other. There is no doubt she is a cold character, but the apparent irksomeness of that trait to a modern audience is interesting. Perhaps we still struggle to come to terms with the idea of a mother whose heart isn't really in it; who, although she may love her children in the broad sense, resents the limitations the role thrusts on her and finds it all … well, tedious.

In the last three years I've had to struggle with the dual role of wife and mother. And while I relish the playtime Aidan and I have together, last year, 2009, was a constant battleground to find meaning and purpose in what I do. Quiet domesticity revolving around my child just didn't suit. I resented the confines of my four walls, quietly raging in the cage of my being.

I confess, I am not the perfect mother. (Not that anyone expects that of me! Haha...)

I'm hardly calm under pressure, and a 3 y.o.'s antics can often drive me up the wall.

I resonate with Betty's "Go watch TV. Go upstairs and play, get out of my way, I'm BUSY!" mentality.

I can, however, say my heart IS in it, because there is genuine warmth and affection. But it really wasn't until late last year when I found purposeful work that I felt whole, fulfilled.

I can imagine why Sylvia Plath stuffed her head into the oven (no disrespect) if all she could fathom was the endless tedium of cleaning, washing, caring, being responsible. Betty has the luxury of domestic help, but is still bored.

Living without purpose, how boring! The endless routine of self-indulgence then guilt and loathing.

The irony is, while Plath and Draper were stuck because of their lack of choice, I felt stuck because of my plethora of choices.

Should I work or stay home? If I worked, will I do my child a disservice? Yet if I didn't, would my internal frisson boil over and burn him as a result? How about I do both? Yet what job can I even do? Who would even hire me?

On and on it goes, the internal monologue of fear.

This year, 2010, presented a slightly different picture...I had work. I started to make friends outside of my usual circle, I found new interests in vintage fashion, continued my Italian class, started baking again. And selling them cupcakes!

While life's yet to reach perfection (and I doubt it ever will!) my struggles are different. Happier struggles, if that's possible.

The sight of an empty and clean kitchen sink brings me PROFOUND joy. I don't know why.

And onward I go...

From the mouth of babes...

He was SO adorable yesterday when I came back late from watching a film (Italian film fest underway...woohoo!).

The garage door opening and closing must have woken him up. He stood on the stairs, bleary-eyed, his hair standing, in his Babyjo pjs....I picked him up and cuddled him and returned him to his bed. Patted him awhile, then left.

And just the other day, he said to EG, "Dada, I want to talk to you."

EG: "What is it?"

"I love you Dada, because you come home to me and mama."

Such cognoscence.

All grown up

This has gotta be my favourite photo of Aidan right now. It says so much!

Thanks Michelle. It was SO lovely meeting you and can't wait to hang out again!

The gift of giving

Here's something we sent out along with Aidan's invite for his b'day party next week:

Hi Everyone!

Thanks for RSVPing to Aidan's invite, I can't believe how time flies! Our little young 'un has turned 3...wow! The last few years have been an amazing journey for us and we can't wait to celebrate it with you next Saturday!

Some of you have asked what to get Aidan, and EG and I both feel he's been blessed above and beyond with gifts already, from his grandparents and all who love him.

But what we can't give him are values, especially learning the value of giving, of selflessness. So this year, we thought it'd be a great idea to have everyone teach him that with their gifts!

This year, we're asking those of you who want to bless Aidan for his birthday (absolutely no obligation of course!) to donate to Invisible Children or to Watoto's Project Gulu.

These two charities have weighed heavily on our hearts as a family, as they seek to rehabilitate former child soldiers in Uganda. They're doing amazing work there (watch the video here) rescuing these children and providing communities, education, protection and lots more to rebuild the nation.

So we hope that while we celebrate one child's blessings here in Melbourne, we can also raise awareness and love for another child in Africa who needs it. Aidan mightn't understand it all now, but we hope that over the years as we peek back on his 3rd birthday, we can teach him the value of selflessness. He already understands that there are other children in other countries who don't have a mummy or daddy who love him as much as we do, especially when we pray for them before bed!

And if you choose to bless Aidan this way, please do sign the card on Saturday!

Looking forward to celebrating with you!


Love,
Saz, EG and Aidan

And if you feel moved to do so, join us on this effort too!

He turns 3!!

WOW!

Last year I turned the big THREE O.

Tomorrow, my boy turns THREE.

Time just really flies!

He talks so much now, and sings songs I've never heard before! (Like the one about 5 currant buns this morning...I think he learnt that at school.)

At 2 years 364 days, he loves Buzz Lightyear, his Mama and Dadda, is super expressive, and has boundless energy.

He just started his 3 y.o. swim class on Monday (which he was really afraid to because the teacher and classmates were new and I wasn't in the pool with him) but he braved it, what a champ!

And tomorrow we'll celebrate his birthday at school with his friends, and a low-key birthday dinner tomorrow night. (The par-tay's next Sat...will post more on our ideas for that soon...)

To infinity, and beyond!

He literally said, "PEW PEW PEW!!"

Sheriff Woody! 

(The costume, courtesy of Ivy, is reversible)

The nerd pirate Aidan...looks strangely familiar...

Can't wait to give you a birthday cuddle tomorrow! And because you're finally a big boy, hopefully you'll STOP COMING INTO MY ROOM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!

Happy belated B'day Kaofu Aaron

What a way to start the week

Aidan's been SO full of wise sayings lately...
"Mum", he said, gravely to my ear this morning, "it's time for you to get up. It's time for breakfast."

And just now, after his bath, and he PACKED UP HIS BATH TOYS ON HIS OWN:

"Thank you for bathing me mum!"

What a champ!

Then, right after his bath and getting dressed, he started running around like a rock star singing "It's Dirt Girl World...." (the theme song from a TV series), with his hands outstretched like he just struck a guitar chord. Too cute! I asked him to sing it again for me, and he did this:

Cupping my face with his two small hands, he grinned and said, I KID YOU NOT, "Oh sweetie, I can't sing it anymore."

OH MY LORDY. This makes up for earlier in the day when he weed in his pants twice and poo-ed - a gross mushy lump in his underwear, which just as I was about to dump into the loo to flush away, plopped onto the rug in the toilet (which is why he needed a bath). ARGH....

Yes. Great start to the week.

Friends

It's been a whirlwind 4 weeks as we had the Foos staying with us and Kienan being Aidan's new best bud! They look for each other each morning and play great...that is until 5 mins later when one's crying coz the other's hit him. Kidsssssssssss....

But we bid adieu to them today, *sob*!!! It's been a terrific time together, and I'm going to miss all our late night chats and snacking on cheese, tim-tams, wine, teas (altho my waistline will thank me!) The house is so quiet and lonely...only the refrain of cheering coming from EG playing Winning 11 on the XBox (only thing missing is the slap of high-fives between EG and Kev...withdrawal symptoms methinks...)

We will miss you fondly, Foos!

Their trip here has been pretty fruitful (judging by all the luggage they had to lug home!) But I reckon both little boys have learnt much from each other, like K's learnt to eat a bigger variety of foods and fruits and sleep well, and Aidan's finally getting the hang of toilet training.

YES! Toilet training! He actually knows when to go to pee when the urge strikes; I think going cold turkey (for me) and putting him in underwear helped...just a month ago he was oblivious to his wet pants and undies, but now he can actually hold his bladder and rush to the toilet!

And TODAY! A poo in the toilet when he needed to (he used to do it only when we put him on, but today he said "Mama, I need to poo!") I'm really hoping that this is the start of a brand new beginning and the end of expensive nappies (will start training earlier for the next kid...cheaper!!)

Anyhoos, here're a couple pics from Aidan and Kienan's time together...and their favourite Buzz Lightyear (they each have one, with their names under Buzz's "spaceboot", just like in the movie!)

 

Kienan's favourite pose - sticking his tongue out

I can't believe how our kids are now friends. Charmaine, Kev and I have known each other since WE were Kienan and Aidan's age (maybe a bit older...5 years?) in GMC Sunday School (I met EG much later, although Kev and EG met in Sunday School about age 5 too.) Now it's our kids' turns!

It's amazing isn't it, the journey of friendship? I'm just so grateful for the history and moments we've shared through the years, and look forward to more to come! From holidays to Desaru and Malacca that Maine's and my parents brought us on when we were little, to the Penang church camp that the four of us really bonded (four friends becoming two couples eventually!!), to now our 2 kids being friends...even though we're separated by seas. It just really shows how God's hand is really upon all our lives.

 L-R: Random person, Cheryl, Tessa, Joanna, Uncle Lawrence, Me, Charmaine

Jokes aside

Aidan's been learning to tell knock knock jokes lately, and I could only supply the couple that I vaguely remember. For example:

Me: KNOCK KNOCK!
Aidan: Who's there?
Me: Lettuce!
Aidan: Lettuce who??
Me: Lettuce in, it's cold outside!

Then it's his turn to tell one.

Aidan: KNOCK KNOCK!
Me: Who's there?
Aidan: TRUCK!!
Me: (ooh, that's so cute!) Truck who??
Aidan: TRUCK IN, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!!!

Hmm...methinks he's yet to get the hang of it...

If you can stomach this...

Some exciting news! Aidan spent the day at school yesterday in underpants! He insisted that he didn't want to wear the nappies, but wanted underwear like a big boy!

And today Kev and Charmaine arrived with Kienan and Jonah. Happy times ahead as we learn to live  and share our lives together over the next month! :-))

In other news, this article is so poignant, nuanced and HEARTBREAKING. About parents forgetting their kids in cars...and how it ends in tragedy. Reminds me of when Aidan locked himself accidentally in the car in our garage before, along with my bag and handphone!

Sigh. Having kids in your life bring so much joy, and so much heartache sometimes, whether of your own doing or not...


 

Model child 2

OK! So it's official, Aidan's now signed up with Brats Models.

We took awhile to decide, but they seemed to be one of the bigger agencies around, and the guy has had heaps of experience, so we really do hope Aidan gets some work out of this!

In the meantime, enjoy some pics we took over the weekend, hanging out with the Chews.

Family photo!

Cheeesssee!!

Chew family, with their latest addition, Noah!

Hmm...maybe that's where Aidan gets his cheesy smile from...

I want chips...PWEEASSSEEE!!!

And today...we made sushi for lunch! Aidan loves his sushi, especially the vegetarian rolls we get at food courts. Today we made salmon onigiri!! Aidan had a lot of fun pressing the rice molds and popping the sushi out.

Start with some steamed rice - I used less water so it'll be more sticky

Add some onigiri seasoning

Some sushi molds - Teddy, little boy and little girl.

Stuff mold with rice

Pop the lid on and squish real tight

Pop the rice out

Ta-DAAAHHH!!

Yummers!!

Nomnomnomnom....

I LOVE Sushi!!

Lately...

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, but at least there's Twitter and FB to keep you guys informed of what's been happening at the Soh household ;p  Will just write a quick one of what's been happening; forgive the 'dry' writing...

SO! Quick news, Aidan did a POO in the toilet ALL BY HIMSELF the other day! Woohoo!

Skip this part if you don't want all the gross details: 

EG left him on the can and closed the door, sat in the hallway to wait (Aidan told him to 'step outside' haha) and promptly fell asleep (?!) I came up to check and lo and behold, after 15 mins he'd done it! After a quick wipe, he got a reward sticker AND a prize from the prize box. Here's to hoping it continues regularly...

We fell pretty sick over the weekend. Aidan caught conjunctivitis AND a chesty cough/cold, which passed on to me by Sunday as he's been making a habit of crawling into my bed in the middle of the night and coughing into my face! Hate being sick, but I'm hoping lots of water will help. At least last night, when I returned him to bed he stayed there after I patted him for a bit. "Goodnight mum," he said.

His imagination's been really taking off, and we've been inventing and telling each other stories lately...he's really into astronauts and rocket ships, and loves Buzz Lightyear! We've just bought Buzz for him during the toy sale and keeping it for his b'day, although I hope we can hold out because his DAD can't wait to open it...I can see the longing in EG's eyes...tsktsk. "I've always wanted a Buzz!" - this, coming from a 32 year-old!!

Our friends Kev and Charmaine are visiting in a couple of weeks and bringing the kids! Woohoo, really looking forward to it!! It'll be rather cozy over here for awhile, and Winter is COLD, but it's SO nice to have people visiting. Can't wait!

In the meantime, here's a couple photos from our church's Annual Dinner on Saturday! I was hosting it again, this time with Carissa, and it was SO MUCH FUN!

Carissa and I at the start of the night. 

That's my mum's kebaya btw!

I did the 1940s hair and tucked the kebaya shirt in. 

Everyone said I looked EXACTLY like my mum!

Side view...yah lah...Poser...

Hmmm...not sure what I'm saying/doing here.

Us dressed up for the Gameshow segment...

I was Candelabra from Kuching, she was Bridget (formerly Xiao Mei...)

Yup...we're a couple of crazy chicks. 

You should've been there, it was a laugh-a-minute riot!

Criss was SO FUNNY and WITTY...we're a great combo ;p

The final contestants all lined up on stage

Candelabra torturing poor Jules...

Final two left...Krystal and Kev! Kev won!!

With the gorgeous Sam Su, whose laughter I could hear all the way on stage!

And my beautiful boys. (Candelabra: "SO HAMSUM AH!")

Hmm...guess that's where he gets his smile from - his Dad!

(You can see his left eye was a little red by the end of the night :-(((  )

Stage mum

So! An update on Aidan's "modeling career".

He's gone for an interview with Bubblegum Kids, and their keen to have him on board. He's got another few lined up next week, and in July, but I guess the big question we're considering is, which agency will give him the best opportunities?

Mind you, it is NOT CHEAP to join an agency, what with marketing and portfolio fees, it's upwards of $400 a year! The bigger agencies charge more, but I'm not sure if that means he gets more exposure, and better photos (they make you decide that day and take the photos immediately). Of course, their client base may be wider too.

Boutique agencies may have a more personalised service, and market him better...but will it be better for his career long term? I don't know!

Gosh. I really sound like I'm overthinking it aren't I. Just praying for wisdom to make the right decision I guess! He's got such an energy and loves performing, I know I'm biased but I really think he can be a star (or in his own words, a ROCK STAR). Or maybe I'm just living out my dreams through him? ;p

Model child

Some recent photos we took. Here's Aidan in his super comfy BabyJo organic bamboo cotton PJs!

Some shots taken in Auction Rooms in North Melbourne, and just outside:

One of my fav photos...the little marlin on his back

I've also recently submitted his photos to a couple of agencies, to see if he's suitable for some work, ever since he got that Heinz print ad done. Fingers crossed! We'll see how he goes...I don't want to end up being a pushy stage mum, but if it's something he'll enjoy, and he can start saving for his college fund or a trip abroad when he's older, why not?