Letter to Aidan

It's 1 in the morning, and I'm having trouble sleeping. No - it's not your fault (tho' you are shifting around quite a bit inside me, and forcing multiple trips to the loo), but I took a nap in the arvo, and am feeling rather awake after a day spent puttering around the house awaiting your arrival.

It was the 4th day of maternity leave, and now the beginning of the 5th. Today will be exciting - officially 38 weeks, and going in for our next checkup. Perhaps the midwife will tell me your head's engaged (which could explain the pressure on the pelvic/pubic bone), and you'll be arriving anytime soon. I hope my blood test results show that my iron levels have passed muster, so I can eliminate another pill from my daily routine.

Mostly, I've been rather excited anticipating your arrival. What you'll look like. How to nurse you. How to bathe you. And spending money on what you'll wear! The sheets are washed and waiting to be ironed, some of your tiny baby clothes are already pressed and packed in the drawer, the next batch awaiting the same attention. I just purchased a 3-pc ensemble on sale at Baby's Got Style (green! cute! aliens!), and it should be arriving on Monday. Gagh...

You're really going to throw my life into a tizzy! I can't wait - well, half anxiously half excitedly though. I'm not thoroughly sure I'll know what to do when you're here. What if you just plain like screaming your head off? What if you don't like to scream at all? Will I get tired being around you? Will I ever get back into shape? Will I throttle your grandma with my bare hands when she stays with us for your first month and interferes annoyingly? (And if so, should I bury her in the backyard or out front?) Questions, questions, QUESTIONS!

I pray that as you grow, you'll learn the best from me and your dad (and leave the worst behind). I hope we know to steward you well - to teach you what we know (to the best of our knowledge!) To teach you to love and fear your Creator, who's knitted you together in my womb, who's formed your innermost being. That you'll learn to treat others with respect and decency, and exude the confidence from knowing you, yourself, are respected and decent. May you be bold, adventurous, curious, and kind. May you be warm and patient with those who can't be, may you extend love to those who are often un-lovely. And may you, eventually, become a Man, who will teach his own son these things.

Soh let it be.