Fame? Part 2

So we made it to the casting today, after driving for about 45 mins in peak hour morning traffic. I was so nervous about being late that I couldn't really sleep the night before! But we got there with enough time to spare, and for me to compose myself after the harried zipping and speeding through the streets, praying I wouldn't hit a traffic jam.

It lasted for about 15 mins, after the initial "wah" factor of arriving at the made-to-impress office - they own the BUILDING. Yikes! And it's all open-plan, so you can see everyone working as you arrive. And the impressive ad campaigns all strung up on the walls.

We were led by a very pretty lady to a room where the art director, a petite girl, got Aidan to play with some pots and pans with wooden spoons (phew! His favourite activity at the moment!), while she took some shots. He was shy at first, but banged and smiled happily away, occasionally looking up to half-smile at the camera. She said she got some cute pics, so hopefully that's good news for us!

After filling up some forms and such, we were handed a Heinz goodie bag, and whisked back to the car in the morning drizzle. Fingers crossed. Maybe he could be the next Heinz Nurture baby! They said the ad could either be a print or online ad, and I had to sign a talent-release form stating the compensation paid for the shots, if we were chosen ($800 for main kid, $400 for the back-ups), would be for unlimited use worldwide.

I did some googling last night, wondering what it'd take to start Aidan's career as a child genius slash star slash prodigy slash beloved national treasure, and found out it'd take a LOT. Modelling agencies charge a registration fee, followed by an annual fee to maintain an online profile of your child, head shots, composite etc. For $500!! Every year!! And that doesn't even guarantee your kid'll get picked!

Hmm.

Methinks it'll be awhile before I'm a stage mum.

Anyhoos, after we left, I dropped him off at childcare where he did his usual sobby goodbye. And of course I felt really terrible and guilty leaving, even though I knew he'd stop once I left (his carers always say he's pretty happy the rest of the day, and whenever I arrive to pick him up and spy through the class window, he's always toddling around playing and having fun).

But I just couldn't shake the feeling today, and I felt so lonely and anxious and purposeless at home, that I decided to head out again and catch up with C over lunch. It was pretty good to have our chat.

I wonder if I'll ever shake the horrible feeling like I'm abandoning him there, even though I know the environment's really good for him and he learns a lot there, especially interacting with the other (ang moh) kids. SIGH! Man, when he starts real school...