One of those days...

There are days that are perfect, even with the aches and growing pains of carrying a baby...

Today was not one of those.

I feel blotchy
I feel pimply
My hair's overgrown
My skin's bumpy
I feel like a walrus

Clothes - those I own don't fit (have stretched the long and stretchy tops as far as I can go); those that I can afford to buy look blech.

All I see in the mirror is how awful I look!

And even though EG tries his best to affirm me (he's been SO good and patient and loving, I don't know how he does it!), I cannot let the words "You are beautiful" sink in - because I don't believe it.

And worse, I feel guilty for feeling ugly. For not believing that "I am Beautiful"

I think I need to be affirmed that it's ok to feel this way, to not always feel a 100%, that it's ok to feel tired and blotchy and depressed and hysterical. That I'm normal (whatever happened to that pregnancy glow I'm supposed to have??!!) even amongst others who don't experience what I do.

I love my baby, I love how my body's growing to accomodate him. I've never once regretted it!

I just wish I looked better while we're at it.

Sigh.