Dreams

Two nights ago, I had YET another dream where EG had an affair. Suffice to say, it's pretty disturbing how I keep having these dreams - EG says it's my unconscious insecurities seeping in. I doubt that. Maybe I'm subconsciously wanting a fresh start but am too chicken to, so being the victim leaves me both free, and sympathetic. Win-win! ;-)

Over the years he's left me for:

1. another Uni student
2. some random woman (these women always appear faceless and nameless)
3. Tan Kheng Hua!!

Incidentally, she'll be at Singapore Day at the Sidney Myer Bowl tomorrow

With this latest incarnation, I do think my psyche has evolved. Rather than play the hurt and confused victim, I actually felt calm, distant, in control. I remember my dream-self thinking, "All right, that's enough, this is the last straw. I'm going to take Aidan and leave." Apparently I was the long-suffering wife who's just had enough of her husband's infidelity!

The crucial matter here folks, is that I actually said "I'm TAKING Aidan with me!" Whereas previously the thought would've scared the bejesus out of me, and I'd rather leave the poor kid so they could both fend for themselves while I restarted my life as a brilliant (and beautiful!) career-woman, this time I took the bubba with me.

SO! I reckon the dream spoke volumes more about my feelings as a mother, than as a wife. Hah! It could actually mean I've come to a point where I'm confident enough as a mum to survive on my own! Although I have to say, I was more than a little testy this morning while changing Aidan's nappy - he kept grabbing his crotch even though there was poo there, and it really really annoyed me! This, added to the fact we were out of bin liners and I couldn't dispose of the soiled nappy properly, leaving it to balance precariously on top of the bin cover. Ewww.

Hmm. Might have to reconsider dumping the adulterer after all. He could come in useful with nappy-changes.